I am Jade and welcome to my blog!
This is a space for me to share my journey as I voyage on my mission of transformation.
Let me tell you a bit about myself. I was the shy and awkward child who would hide in the corner reading Dostoyevsky and aged 12. I was scared to voice my opinions, to say what I wanted. Truth is I didn’t even know what I wanted!
Fast forward to today and I am still a nerd. What made me “me” is still there. Yet I’ve learned to take those things that I would have seen as my failings and turn them into my superpowers. It’s been a long and painful journey which is by no way finished, but there has been a major transformation along the way.
I used to hide behind my dad, scared of opening my mouth and speaking. That was because everywhere I turned, there seemed to be trouble. Deep inside myself I knew what I wanted to be, yet I completely lacked the confidence to go out there and to be me.
At some point, alienated by what appeared to be a hostile world, I decided to become a wild child. I partied, went travelling and explored all and a little more that a teenage rebel would. Finally I decided that reacting against what I perceived as a world with the odds against me was never going to allow me to find myself.
I realised that being me wasn’t about kicking a system that didn’t even care about me, it was about going out and actively being me. Once I accepted that I couldn’t change the world, and that my rebellion was as meaningful as screaming into a storm, I understood that the only thing I could change was me.
How easy is it to blame the world for our problems? To see the other as making me feel this and that, as keeping us slave. How often when we blame another for our ills, are we just giving away our power?
We can’t change the pain, the disasters we have suffered. There’s only one thing we can do. We can take our weaknesses and turn them into strengths, turn our disasters into success and pain into joy. The Ancient Taoists said, there is no point to swim against the current. Indeed the world is what it is and screaming at it won’t help.
I; me, here, just one tiny atom in a volatile world, and yet I hold the power. I hold the power to transform myself into something that shines brightly into the world.
I am not talking here about conventional morality. Karma is not about right and wrong, it’s about the energy that we create. Just as I am not here to change the world, neither am I here to save the world. The old ideas that life is for serving others only lead to misery. Unless we start with ourselves, we cannot do anything.
From this realisation, started my journey.
It was a journy into myself.
A journey where the mud and grime, the horrors and the pain, budded into a flower, and thing of beauty that no one could deny.
This is alchemy.